What did I say that sounds like "Tell me about your life?"
What part of no don't you want me to understand?
A Unitarian is an atheist with children
Knights try to attract women by competing with other men. Troubadours try to attract women by doing things women like. When troubadours succeed, knights think they're cheating.
The Atkins Diet: It's a no-grainer
Editors: We read the slush pile so you don't have to
I am Dyslexia of Borg. Your ass will be laminated.
I wasn't myself, but whoever I was is very, very sorry
I'm destined for greatness–I'm just pacing myself
New Meds—please be patient
UU Time–why nothing important happens until fifteen minutes into the meeting
But I have to vote for Cthulhu or else Morgoth will win!
'Kinky' is anything I haven't done yet
Bacteria don't die, they phage away
Have forgotten my original hair color
Rule 1) Is it plugged in? Rule 2) No, really. Is it plugged in? 3) Seriously, get on the floor and check. Is it really plugged in?
T'ai Chi–the traditional Chinese martial art of boring your enemies to death
Eagles soar, but a weasel will never get sucked into a land war in Asia
Aloof, unavailable elf princess
But I don't WANT to live in a Tom Clancy novel!
GO ME!
Pervy Hobbit-Fancier
Pervy Vampire-Fancier
Sam will kill him if he tries anything
Still not king
Still the prettiest
There is no GAP in Rohan
We know Hussein has weapons of mass destruction–we have the receipts
Will work for money
How can we stand the excitement? [flat-mouthed smiley face]
At meetings someone speaks and says nothing. Nobody listens — and then everybody disagrees.
A free society is one where it is safe to be unpopular
How many gods are there? Polytheist: Many. Monotheist: One. Atheist: Zero. Agnostic: "Don't know." Unitarian: "Any number except three. Well….maybe, but which three?"
Religion isn't the cause of war, it's the excuse
To have a few doubts is normal. To have many doubts is a crisis of faith. To have contant doubts is to be a Unitarian Universalist.
Unitarian Bible Study Today! Bring your own bible and scissors
Unitarians are bad at congregational singing because they're always looking ahead to see whether they agree with the lyrics
Universalists think God is too good to send them to hell. Unitarians think they are too good for God to send them to hell.
[Chalice]
What do Unitarians do when they're really mad at you? They burn a question mark on your lawn
I've packed my emotional baggage and I'm ready for my ego trip
Just do what your boss would do if they knew what they were talking about
Kill one person, you're a murderer. Kill a hundred people, you're a terrorist. Kill a million people, you're a government. Kill everyone, you're a god.
Knowledge corrupts. I spent ten years in school. Run!
A mind is a terrible thing to baste. Mine is fried.
Music is my drug of choice
Now let us peel back the foreskin of misconception and apply the wire brush of enlightenment
The past isn't dead. It isn't even past.
The plutonium fairy is a lot like the irony fairy, but without the subtlety.
'Point and click' means you're out of ammo
Using lotteries to support education is a conflict of interest
VCR's watch tv so that you don't have to.
We have eaten death, and we shall taste eternal life….
Welcome to heaven. Here's your harp and your tuning key. Welcome to hell. Here's your harp.
What is the terminal velocity of an unladen Balrog?
What kind of a dog says "Bofh! Bofh!"? A rootweiler
First they came for the verbs, and I said nothing because verbing weirds language. Then they arrival for the nouns, and I speech nothing because I no verbs.
Gods don't kill people. People with gods kill people.,
I have a horrible hacking cough– every time I clear my throat, I break into another computer system
I like a nice well-balanced diet. Tea *and* coffee.
I want to be young and wild, and then I want to be middle-aged and rich, and then I want to be old and annoy people by pretending to be deaf
I went on a nostalgia trip. It wasn't as good as it will be.
I'm sorry, but I'm not apologizing any more
It's better to be lucky than smart, but it's easier to be smart twice than lucky twice
Good manners is the art of pretending one is not superior
Judaism: an argument between God and His chosen pilpul
God is who. Evolution is how.
Vanilla. Monogamous. Sorry.
[American Flag]
I am Locution of Borg. Prepare to be a simile.
If I had one more brain cell, I'd be dangerous
In my next life, I want more memory installed
It's not a lifestyle, it's a life
Join the Society for the Restoration of Lost Positives–Together we can gruntle and shevel the world
No–YOU need to manage my anger better
What Would Scooby Do?
Bored Now
Don't I know you from Live Journal/Worldcon/Pennsic/Black and Blue Ball/Alt.Polycon/Burning Man [checklist]
