Stumbleupon Review
- How to get out of jury duty–ask, "If we convict him, can we keep his stuff?"
- What did the surgeon say to the patient who wanted to close his own incision? Suture self.
- Intelligence isn't hereditary. The goofball who wasn't good enough to marry your daughter can be the father of the smartest grandkid in the world.
- Born to pun
- Recursive programming [in a circular flowchart that goes from dammit to dammit and so around]
- Acting is an art which consists of keeping the audience from coughing
- Aim high–if you miss your target, at least you won't shoot your foot off
- Anything with "Science" in its name isn't one….Political Science, Christian Science, Creation Science, Computer Science
- Calculus: the agony and dx/dt
- The costumes have reached a critical level. Soon the space ship will come through the wall.
- Fandom collects. Absolute fandom collects absolutely everything.
- God wrote the program, evolution is the output, meteor strikes are the reset button
- I can only please one person per day. Today I choose me.
- I hate tattoos. They make the meat taste all funny.
- If the thought of doing something makes me giggle for at least 15 seconds, I am to assume I am not allowed to do it
- If we knew what we were doing, we wouldn't call it research
- I'm not being argumentative. I'm just contradicting you.
- I'm the Mommy, that's why
- In the Singularity, everyone will be famous for 15 nanoseconds. Simultaneously.
- It isn't called the web of a million lies for nothing