Master of Superfluous Technology
Miles' Girlfriends—be all you can be, and then some
"More hay, Trigger?" "No thanks, Roy. I'm stuffed."
My father sacked Lindisfarne, and all I got was this lousy pennanular broach
My name is Bambi. You killed my mother. Prepare to die.
"My name is Fox Mulder. You abducted my sister. Take me too!"
No shit, there I was….
"Oh, bother," said the Borg. "We've assimilated Pooh."
One must have the courage of one's peculiarities
Practice random intelligence and senseless acts of self-control
Procrastinators go to hell, but not right away
Reality is a hairball in the catnap of life
Recovering Catholic
Recovering Fundamentalist
SCA: Where all the voices in your head can come out and play
Set left eyebrow on sardonic
Smith & Wesson–the original point'n'click interface
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If God had wanted us to use metric, he would have given us ten fingers
If you want an answer to that question, you'd better be bringing me chocolate
If you want to see me, drop in any time. If you want to see my house, make an appointment
I'm a bad thing that happens to good people
I'm an atheist. It's a simple faith, but it comforts me.
I'm completely human–on my mother's side
I'm not a Goth–they just dress like me
I'm not pompous, I'm pedantic. There's a difference.
Imagine Escher drawing his own bath
It doesn't have to make sense–it's library policy
It took Windows to make me appreciate DOS
It's the year 2000. Where's my flying car that folds up into a suitcase?
I've done ISDN. It's so 20th century.
I've had my weird shit quota for the week. Thank you.
Lead me into the company of those who are seeking the truth and keep me out of the hands of those who have found it
Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Sith Lords
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Give me brains. After all, you are what you eat.
Go sell crazy someplace else. We're all stocked up here.
Great minds, same gutters
Hello. I'm the Dread Pirate Roberts(tm) #9875. Ask me about a franchise in your area.
Hubris is stealing the fire of the gods. Chutzpah is offering to sell it back.
I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow probably won't be, either.
I don't flirt with death. She runs up and sticks her tongue in my ear.
I don't go postal. I get medieval.
I have a contract with my cat. I feed the cat, and the cat, um, lets me.
I have one job on this lousy ship. It's a stupid job, but I'm going to do it.
I have the body of a goddess–the Venus of Willendorf
I may be a squire, but I'm not YOUR squire
I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.
I wish killfiles worked in real life
I'd mock you, but the thrill is gone
If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, does it make a sound?
If Bill Gates had a nickel for every time Windows crashed….Oh wait! He does!
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What does a pagan do at a parking meter? Reads the signs, calls the quarters, and pays tribute to Demeter
Y2K complacent
Alpha Geek
Amateurs built the ark, professionals built the Titanic
As a matter of fact, Mr. Shatner, I *have* kissed a girl
Bi Poly Switch I'm not indecisive, I'm GREEDY!
By caffeine alone I set my mind in motion, By the Beans of Java do thoughts acquire speed, Hands acquire trembling, The trembling becomes a shaking, By caffeine alone I set my mind in motion
Can I have my mid-life crisis now while I'm young and agile enough to enjoy it?
Cat: a narcissistic personality in a fur suit
Change is inevitable, growth is optional
Dijon Vu: The feeling you've seen mustard before
Do Catholic vampires believe in transubstantiation?
Do Catholic vegetarians believe in transubstantiation?
Do good, avoid evil, and throw a room party
Do NOT start with me. You will NOT win.
Don't bother me–I'm living happily ever after
Eight hugs a day–gotta give'em, gotta get'em
*Expensive* Amazon!
Faith manages, Willow does tech support
The first amendment is meaningless without the freedom to not discuss the second
"Gee, Mr. Croup, what are we going to do tonight?" "Same thing we do every night, Mr. Vandemar–try to take over London below!"
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[Yin/Yang]
🙂
Computer Analyst: "Now lie down and tell me about your motherboard…."
An erection doesn't count as personal growth
I believe in libraries. Everybody should have one.
I don't do math–that's why I went into computers
I only eat organic food. That silicon-based stuff tears up my innards.
I went to the bathroom and they elected me Antichrist
I'd rather be lucid dreaming
If children are God's little blessings, I'd hate to experience His wrath
I'm not touching that with a 10' snide remark
It is better to light one candle than to curse the Darth
Martha Stewart would die if she saw this place–let's invite her over
Memory file not found. Please hit refresh button to reboot name file.
Microsoft multi-processing: fouling up three things at once
Nine out of ten of the voices in my head say "Don't shoot!"
We have an open door policy. And an open airlock policy.
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You're not as real as you think
You're not right. You just SOUND right.
You're not the only one who thinks I don't know what I'm doing
You're only young once–after that you need another excuse
You're sick for the first five months of pregnancy and uncomfortable for the last five months, but the month in between is alright
You're so cute when you're cynical
You've been leading a dog's life. Stay off the furniture.
You've got to kick at the darkness till it bleeds daylight
You've got to know the rules before you break them–otherwise it's nofun
You've got to know when to code'em, know when to modem, know when to load'em up, know when to run. Don't count your money when you're sitting at the keyboard–there'll be time enough for counting when the program's done
YUMMIE–Young Upwardly Mobile Mutant
Zero tolerance/infinite hypocrisy
[Double interlaced pentacle]
[Eye of Horus]
[Interlaced pentacle]
[Prisoner bicycle with a 6]
[Prisoner bicycle with a 2]
[Prisoner bicycle with a your choice of number]
[Sacred Chao]
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You say nah-celle, I say nay-celle–let's call the holo thing off
You shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you odd
You should learn to be assertive, but not with me
You should see the ones we don't let out in public
You shouldn't go faster than twice the speed of light–it's too hard on the tires
You were TOLD not to feed me after midnight
You wouldn't say that if I were Fabio
You'll find I'm full of surprises
You'll go to Heck if you don't believe in Gosh
You'll have to be nice to me–I throw up easily
Your eyes are weary from reading buttons. You are sleepy. You agree with all my ideas. You cannot imagine why you ever felt otherwise.
Your lack of planning does not constitute my emergency
Your mouse pointer has moved. You must reboot Windows for this change to take effect.
Your reality is lies and balderdash and I am delighted to say I have no grasp of it whatsoever
Your silliness has been noted
Your superior intellect is no match for our puny weapons
You're a much nicer person than I am, so I'm sure you'll forgive the vicious things I've been saying about you
You're awfully picky for someone from the twilight zone
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You can't have too many buttons–only too little surface area
You can't judge a book by its movie
You can't teach people to be lazy. Either they have it or they don't.
You can't tell beforehand which side of the bread you should butter
You can't win. You can't break even. You can't get out of the game. Can I abdicate?
You could be replaced by an infinite number of monkeys
You do not wish to know anything. You wish only to speak.
You don't have to be crazy to work here. We'll train you.
You don't need to bring your adversaries to their knees, just to their senses
You get what you settle for
You guys start writing code and I'll go find out what they want
You knew the job was dangerous when you took it
You know better than to trust a strange computer
You know, just once, I'd like to meet an alien menace that wasn't immune to bullets!
You know, you have to be careful not to get yourself locked into this open systems stuff. —IBM executive
You know you've been hacking too long when you wake up at 11 AM and can't get back to sleep because you can't find the go_back_to_sleep command
You know you've been on the internet too long when you've got to turn your head sideways to express emotion
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You are in a maze of twisty little UNIX versions, all different
You are in a twisty little passage of standards, all conflicting
You are in the presence of a system administrator…..KNEEL
You are wise, witty, and wonderful, but you spend too much of your time reading buttons
You are only as strong as your weakest delusion
You bash the Balrog, I'll climb a tree
You can do anything thou wilt in Aleister's restaurant
You can fly, but that cocoon has to go
You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time — that should be enough for most purposes
YOU can help wipe out COBOL in our lifetime
You can lead a horse to water, but if you can get him to swim on his back, you've got something
You can make it foolproof, but you can't make it damnfoolproof
You can name your own salary here–I call mine Fred
You can stop being useless now–the crisis has passed
You can tell a real programmer by the keyboard dents in their foreheads
You can try to leave a message, but my spirit screens its calls
You can't achieve the impossible unless you attempt the absurd
You can't be a figment of my imagination–I'd have done a better job
You can't cancel the project! We've already made the t-shirts!
You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus
You can't go on forever living in the shadow of world destruction–people get bored.
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Writing is easy. All you do is stare at a blank sheet of paper until drops of blood form on your forehead
Writing is like prostitution–first you do it for love, then for a few friends, and finally for money
X windows–it could be worse, but it'll take time
Xena and Gabrielle in 2000
Xena-Phile
x^n + y^n = z^n has no integer solutions other than 0 for n>2 I have a wonderful proof, but it won't fit on a button
X-Phile
Yea, though I walk through the valley of bad design, I will fear no tolerance, for I can just "work around it"
Yellow journalism is media ochre
Yes, but what if this weren't a rhetorical question?
Yes, I know it's bad for me, but nagging me about it might be bad for you
Yes, sir, we've graphed the data. It's a smiley face, sir.
Yesterday's the past, tomorrow's the future, but today is a gift. That's why they call it the present.
Yield to temptation–I may not make the pass again
Yield to temptation–it may not pass your way again
Yin yang with Christian fish and Darwin fish
You always find things in the first place you look, but not the first time you look there
You are here and this is the highlight of your day
You are in a maze of twisty little menus, all different
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