Light a candle, curse the

Stumbleupon Review

  • Light a candle, curse the glare
  • The light at the end of the tunnel may be a NO EXIT sign
  • The light at the end of the tunnel may be an oncoming dragon
  • Light Sabers–a part of living
  • Light Side, Dark Side–I'm the one with the blaster
  • Lightning is one hell of a murder weapon–and the best part is, it can't be traced
  • lim (3->4)  <square root of>3 = 2
  • Limit congress members to two terms–one in congress, one in jail
  • The lion and the lamb shall lie down together, but the lamb won't get much sleep
  • LISP is a recursive language–first you curse, then you recurse
  • LISP is like a finely choreographed ballet.  Ada is like a waltz of drugged elephants.  C is like a sword-dance on a freshly waxed floor.
  • The little engine that philosophized   I think I am!  I think I am!
  • The little engineer that could
  • Live Lent in the fast lane
  • Live long and prosper
  • Live long and prosper.  It's logical.
  • Live now–procrastinate tomorrow!
  • Live Wild or Die!
  • Living saint–please tempt
  • Lizard Invasion Newts at eleven
  • Logic designers don't have orgasms–they have nandgasms with inverted gates
Posted in Humour | Tagged | Leave a comment

Life is too short, but if you

Stumbleupon Review

  • Life is too short, but if you do it fast enough, you can live it one and a half times
  • Life is uncertain.  Eat dessert first.
  • Life isn't always fair, but it shouldn't cheat that much
  • Life needs pulldown menus and an undo function
  • Life? Of course I have a life.  It's a life filled with books.
  • Life should consist of at least fifty percent pure waste of time and the rest in doing what you please
  • The life that /// can /////         never must be <has slashout>
  • Life would not be easier if we could get AT the source code
  • Life would be so much easier if we could just look at the source code
  • LIFE.DOC not included–booting WINGIT.SYS
  • Life's a beach, and then you dry
  • Life's a bitch, and she's back in heat
  • Life's a bitch–and then you die
  • Life's a bitch, but I like my life
  • Life's a bitch, but the puppies are cute
  • Life's a bitch–now so am I
  • Life's a witch, and then you fly
  • Life's cold–dress appropriately
Posted in Humour | Tagged | Leave a comment

Lethargy in motion

Stumbleupon Review

  • Lethargy in motion
  • Let's get some chaos into this confusion
  • Let's leave religion to the televangelists.  After all, they're the professionals.
  • Let's split up–we can do more damage that way
  • Liberal Arts Graduate–Will think for food
  • A liberal is someone who will let you do anything so long as they're paid to help you do it
  • Librarian Terrorist–get out of my way or I'll catalog you
  • LIFE
  • Life–a sexually transmitted disease that afflicts some people more than others
  • Life always sucks–some days it just bothers you more than others
  • Life–an invariably fatal condition spread by sexual contact
  • Life…don't talk to me about life
  • Life imitates art, but does it have to imitate satire?
  • Life is a banquet to be enjoyed with relish, except for dessert which should be enjoyed with chocolate
  • Life is a holiday in the same way that glass is a liquid
  • Life is a journey.  Are we there yet?  Are we there yet?  Are we there yet?
  • Life is complex–it's partly real and partly imaginary
  • Life is just one large conspiracy to drive me to chocolate
  • Life is much too complicated in the morning
  • Life is not in C major
  • Life is not in C major, it's in C++
Posted in Humour | Tagged | Leave a comment

The larger the island of

Stumbleupon Review

  • The larger the island of knowledge, the longer the shoreline of wonder
  • The last fan on earth sat alone in a room.  There was a loc on the door.
  • The last man on Earth sat alone in his room.  There was a knock on the door.  The alien said, "Ten minutes to showtime."
  • Laugh it up, fuzzball
  • Lawful game master–and I pick the laws
  • Laws are made to be broken
  • Laws expand in proportion to the resources available for their enforcement
  • Lead lemming
  • Lead me not into temptation–I can find it for myself
  • League of Bloodthirsty Women
  • League of Bloodthirsty Women–Men's Auxilliary
  • Learn to put the toilet seat down–it makes you look like a warm, sensitive, caring human being
  • Learning French is trivial–the word for horse is cheval, and everything else follows in the same way
  • Lefties are better lovers
  • Lesbian trapped in a man's body
  • The less you bother me, the sooner you'll get results
  • Let friendship thrive
  • Let me control a planet's oxygen supply and I don't care who makes the laws!
  • L'etat c'est Moe   All the world's a stooge
Posted in Humour | Tagged | Leave a comment

Kamikaze Paranomasiac each pun

Stumbleupon Review

  • Kamikaze Paranomasiac each pun a killer
  • Katana Space When carry on just isn't enough
  • Keeping freedom safe from democracy
  • Keyboard not found….Think F1 to continue
  • Kick ass now, take names later
  • Kill the DM…no, SLOWLY kill the DM
  • Kill them all–let God sort them out
  • Killing never solves anything, but it keeps people out of your hair while you think of what to do next
  • Kirk & Picard in 2000 The best of both worlds
  • Kirk & Spock '92
  • Kirk & Spock '96
  • Kiss me–I'm not Irish, but don't let that stop you
  • kNOw FEAR
  • Knowing Murphy's Law won't help either
  • K/S The Human/Vulcan adventure is just beginning
  • Kzinti Diplomatic Corps Let's do lunch
  • The lab called–your brain is ready
  • Ladies' Sewing Circle & Terrorist Society
Posted in Humour | Tagged | Leave a comment

Jesus is coming–if He's

Stumbleupon Review

  • Jesus is coming–if He's late, your second savior is free
  • Jewish mystics do it by dybbuk
  • Jewish Pagans are like regular Pagans–we believe in the Mother Goddess, we just feel guilty about not calling
  • Jobs don't kill programmers.  Programmers kill jobs.
  • Join SEA–the Society for the Elimination of Acronyms
  • Judge me by my size, you will?
  • Jurassic Park–try not to feed the animals
  • Jurassic Park–12 species in Amber
  • Just adding features because 'it won't hurt'–does
  • Just another possum on the information superhighway
  • Just because you're paranoid, it doesn't mean they're not out to get you
  • Just doing my bit to lower property values
  • Just one nuclear family can ruin your whole life
  • Just say HUMAN when you're asked your race
  • Just say know
  • Just Say Whoa   Stop suicidal cavalry charges   Remember the 600
  • Just say ZOG
  • Just think–how would Bugs Bunny have handled this?
  • Just think of it as a live role-playing game
  • Kamikaze Chemist
Posted in Humour | Tagged | Leave a comment

I've got a cat in my lap

Stumbleupon Review

  • I've got a cat in my lap and I can't get up
  • I've got nothing to say–don't make me say it twice
  • I've had fun before.  This isn't it.
  • I've had to choose between honest arrogance and hypocritical humility
  • I've made such a terrible mess of things…and all I wanted to do was rule the universe
  • I've only got one nerve left, and you're getting on it
  • I've read so much about the dangers of sex, smoking, and drinking that I've given up reading
  • …I've seen Sun monitors on fire off the side of the multimedia lab.  I've seen NTU lights glitter in the dark near the Mail Gate.  All these things will be lost in time, like the root partition last week.  Time to die… –Peter Gutmann, a.s.r.
  • I've suffered enough–when does my art improve?
  • I've suffered for my art–now it's your turn!
  • Jailing someone to keep them from ruining their life with drugs is like burning a village to save it
  • Janeway & Chakotay….because government is best 70,000 light years away
  • Jeez if you love Honkus
  • Jesus: "Hey, Dad?"  God: "Yes, son."  Jesus: "Western Civilization followed me home.  Can I keep it?"  God: "Certainly not!  And put it down this instant–you don't know where it's been."
Posted in Humour | Tagged | Leave a comment

It's ok to laugh during

Stumbleupon Review

  • It's ok to laugh during sex–just don't point
  • It's possible to use karate against a swarm of plankton–but it won't help
  • It's practically impossible to look at a penguin and feel angry [with picture of penguin]
  • It's really the cat's house–we just pay the mortgage
  • It's simple–you're seen what food processors do to food, right?
  • It's time for reality to start adjusting to me
  • It's tough being an alarm clock–you work weird hours and people hate you
  • It's you and me against the world. When do we attack?
  • Ivanova is God
  • I've been awake so long the bags under my eyes are too big for carry on
  • I've been learning from your mistakes–I don't make enough of my own
  • I've been seduced by the chocolate side of the Force.
  • I've been wrestling with reality for most of my life–I'm pleased to say I've won
  • I've enjoyed just about as much of this as I can stand
  • I've found the missing link between animals and humans.  It's us.
  • I've given up trying to change the world.  I'm going to toilet train it so that I never have to change it again.
Posted in Humour | Tagged | Leave a comment

It's not easy being this

Stumbleupon Review

  • It's not easy being this cute
  • It's not mind-rot.  It's intellectual ferment.
  • It's not my FAULT
  • It's not pinging.  It's passed on.  This program is no more.  It's expired and gone to meet its make-r.  This is a late program.  It's a stiff…  *This is an X program.*
  • It's not procrastination–it's the incredible Just-in-Time Workload Management System!
  • It's not sugar–it's low-grain cereal
  • It's not that I don't believe in the system–I don't believe that there IS a system
  • It's not that simple [the initial letter is heavily ornamented]
  • It's not the principle of the thing, it's the money
  • It's not the years–it's the mileage
  • It's not who wins or loses, it's who keeps score
  • It's ok to disagree with me.  However, once I explain where you're wrong, you're supposed to become enlightened and change your mind.  Congratulating me on how smart I am is optional.
  • It's ok to do the right thing, as long as you don't get caught
Posted in Humour | Tagged | Leave a comment

It's hard to predict the

Stumbleupon Review

  • It's hard to predict the future when they keep changing the past
  • It's hard to seize the day when first you've got to grapple with the morning
  • It's hard to think of you as the end result of millions of years of evolution
  • IT's HARd to tYpe wHILe holdINf a Cat
  • It's important to keep an open mind, but not so open your brains fall out
  • It's just AFOG [Another Fucking Opportunity for Growth]
  • It's like brother Nietzsche said–being human is a complicated gig, so give that dark night of the soul a hug and howl the eternal yes
  • It's never too late to have a happy childhood
  • It's never too late to have a rebellious adolescence
  • It's not a bald spot–it's a solar panel for a sex machine
  • It's not a bug–it's an undocumented feature
  • It's not a bug, it's not a feature, it's an ENHANCEMENT
  • It's not a dungeon–it's a fortified underground defense installation
  • It's not cute being this easy
  • It's not easy being a cast iron bitch.  It takes years of practice.  Most people don't appreciate that.
Posted in Humour | Tagged | Leave a comment