Friends let you hide at their place. Real friends let you hide bodies.
Gun Exchange programs would work great if they gave you a gun when you handed in a criminal!
Don't call us "gun nuts"– with a government like ours, we'd be nuts not to have guns!
If you try to get my gun, don't expect to get my trust
REAL PROGRAMMERS DON'T DOCUMENT If it was hard to write, it should be impossible to understand!
My life may be weird, but at least it's not boring!
User Surly
I like noise. I need noise. When it's too quiet, I can hear my brain cells dying.
Always proofread. You might have something out.
It never fails! You start having fun, and they send in the lawyers.
The First Amendment grants Freedom of Speech THE SECOND GUARANTEES IT!
You don't need a pedigree to be a best friend
ZenCrafters Total enlightenment in about an hour!
Amateur Rocket Scientist My other vehicle is in orbit
Witch Wagon – Tailgaters will be Toad
Had a life. Traded it for a faster modem
Most men would respect a woman's mind more if it bounced gently as she walked.
Sanity is a state of mind …but the taxes are so high, I had to move away.
Wizard Wagon – Tailgaters will be toad
Objects in mirror may have flunked driver ed
In space, your cat can't hear you open the can
Miskatonic Summer Games – Fastest food in Arkham
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Mankind is the result of millions of years of evolution designed to produce a better Cat Servant
Cats humor us because they know that their ancestors ate ours.
My husband said he'd leave me if I didn't stop reading mysteries all the time… Why didn't I start sooner?
Dogs think men are gods. Cats are not so easily deluded.
It's hard to Soar with Dragons when you Work with Gargoyles
Bean me up, Scotty! They make lousy coffee down here
Some days, the most interesting thing on the TV is a sleeping cat!
Yes, I've heard of "decaf." What's your point?
Everybody needs something to believe. I believe I'll have another cup of coffee!
Just bring me the coffee and nobody will get hurt
Are you sure this isn't just a live-action roleplaying game?
"Get a life?" I'm a gamer! I have lots of lives!
A chill in the air, a cat on the lap, a mug of java and a good book. Ah paradise!
We will never have great leaders as long as we mistake education for intelligence, ambition for ability, and lack of transgression for integrity!
Different drummer? I'm my own band!
Forget world peace, visualize using your &+%?*$! Turn signals!
Federal Espresso – When you absolutely, positively have to have something that will get you going, no matter what you were doing overnight!
Only lawyers get to be judges, and that's the (F)LAW! (ONLY-L:
Inside every small problem is a big one trying to get government funding
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This isn't a life it's a forced March!
They're Lying
Ignore the propaganda. Focus on what you see.
Testing drugs on computers just makes them safe for computers.
Life would be so much easier if we just had the source code
Don't blame me- I'm just visiting this planet!
Who are you to question why your god doesn't want me to believe in him?
I am perfectly sane. The little voices in my head told me so!
If all the world's a stage, I want better lighting!
If you get any closer, you'd better have a condom
What we really need is a moment of SCIENCE in the public schools!
Some push the envelope, some just lick it, and some can't find the flap!
[Dragon] Some things must be believed before they can be seen
[Pegacorn] Some things must be believed before they can be seen
[UFO] Some things must be believed before they can be seen
Fundamentalism stops a thinking mind
Remember when conservatives protected privacy and freedom?
A world without war; a dream to some, a nightmare to the arms manufacturers.
Victims and suspects and clues, oh my!
Mystery readers are never clueless (after chapter one)
The four essential elements: Means, Motive, Opportunity and Chocolate!
"When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth." –S. Holmes
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Red meat isn't bad for you. Fuzzy, green meat is bad for you!
Where are we going? Why am I in this handbasket?
Hang Up and Drive!
I did not escape, I have a day pass!
Untie Dexlysics!
Some days, it's just not worth gnawing through the straps
The problem with religious texts is that the answers aren't in the back, either.
The fundies keep telling me I'm going to Hell and they're going to Heaven. If they aren't there, it won't be Hell, so I guess we're all going to the same place!
Forget Love – I want to fall in Chocolate
Go Fascinate Someone Else
He's YOUR God. They're YOUR rules. YOU burn in Hell!
Animal testing is futile! The animals always get nervous and give the wrong answers
Four space stations were lost and they still funded a fifth? Only on TV – Babylon 5
The computer revolution is over – the computers won!
I inhaled and I vote
Help! I've tripped and I can't come down!
I was abducted by space aliens and I vote!
Will Write Code for Food
I got out of bed for this?
EARTH FIRST! We can stripmine the other planets later!
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Summa cum laude graduate, Darth Vader School of Personnel Management
Some mornings I just don't feel like slaying dragons
It's a control freak thing. I won't let you understand!
System analysis is the process of finding exactly the right wrench to pound in the required screw
Proudly marching to the beat of a different kettle of fish
I'm doing my part to piss off the Religious Reich
The best things in life aren't things
Ignore your rights and they'll go away
The "New Right" is fundamentally wrong
Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain
First they burn books then they burn people
Question Authority before it Questions You!
Civil Disobedience – It's not just for revolutionaries anymore!
C:\COFFEE.EXE NOT FOUND <A>bort, <R>etry, <B>rew another pot?
Vote Conservative! There's no mistake like an old mistake!
Been there. Done that. Went back for more.
Computers cut my work in half… and the boss expects me to put it all back together!
Murphy was an optimixt!
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Cats keep their claws sharp because they know that just a purr may not be enough
Anything not nailed down is a cat toy!
Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity
A chill in the air, a cat on the lap, a mug of chocolate, and a good book. Ah, Paradise!
I think, therefore I am dangerous
Usenet Cheaper than drugs, just as addictive, but you have to know how to read!
It's worse than you think and they ARE out to get you!
You found God? If nobody claims him in 30 days, he's yours!
You're pro-life? That's fine. Now get one and stay out of mine!
Who needs drugs? I go broke buying books!
Weird Load
[pentagram] Give me that REAL Old-Time Religion!
Book lovers never go to bed alone!
MY MIND IS NOT FOR SALE OR RENT TO ANY GOD OR GOVERNMENT
Pro-Free Speech. Pro-Gun. Pro-Choice. PRO-FREEDOM!
Sure you can trust the Government! Just ask an Indian!
[fish with legs] You keep believing… we'll keep evolving!
Procrastinate Later
My ship finally came in, but it was the Kobayashi Maru!
Alcohol and calculus don't mix NEVER DRINK AND DERIVE!
Subvert the dominant paradigm!
I'm not nearly as think as you confused I am!
Don't hate yourself in the morning — Sleep till noon!
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Weird Enough for Government Work
If I could get a firm grip on reality, I'd choke it!
Men exist because cats won't mow the lawn. Women exist because sheep can't cook. Neither of these things explain children.
Abolish mornings!
Jesus is coming! LOOK BUSY
She said "Harder!" I did that. She said "Faster!" I did that. She said "Deeper!" I philosophized.
I love my country. It's my government I fear.
Why should we trust the government with automatic weapons?
My wife keeps complaining that I never listen to her… or something like that.
My cat dislikes the term "pet." It prefers "friend and confidante."
Caution Vampire in trunk!
If it isn't fattening, it isn't food!
[pentagram] Born Again Pagan
Just say NO to sex with pro-lifers
Cats don't want to own people. They prefer to lease with an option.
Don't steal. The government hates competition.
Computers are vehicles for the mind. They drive you crazy!
My kid swindled your honor student at the Ferengi College of Business, where students learn to profit from more than just mistakes.
My other vehicle was assimilated by the Borg!
[Alien face] Nice little planet you've got here. Shame if something happened to it.
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Balance the Budget. Declare Politicians as Game and sell Hunting Stamps.
My kid and your taxes go to Starfleet Academy
The Cat Philosophy of Life: If you can't Eat it or Shred it, then Sleep on it.
Welcome to Middle Earth. NOW GO HOME.
Dyselxics have more fnu
How long do I have to be a grad student before I can petition for tenure?
Be nice to me, or I just might develop psychokinetic powers and destroy Tokyo!
Bad command. Bad, BAD command. Sit! Stay!
The meek shall inherit the Earth. The rest of us are going to the stars!
Dead men tell no tales… unless you're in forensics
Next year, why not vacation in the millions of worlds of a used book store?
Carpe DM: Seize the Dungeon Master
I have seen the truth, and it makes no sense!
The Few. The Browed. The Klingon Marines.
To err is human. To forgive is against company policy.
Once you pull the pin from Mr. Grenade, he is no longer your friend.
Always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them more!
I don't need a new religion. I haven't used up the Old one.
Never trust a smiling GM!
Why get real? Plastic is cheaper, It doesn't rot, It comes in prettier colors, and it's much easier to clean!
Will build thermonuclear devices for food
Do Not Meddle in the Affairs of Dragons, for You are Crunchy and Good with Ketchup.
Those who can, Teach. Those who cannot teach ARE RUNNING THE SCHOOLS!
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There is no freedom OF religion without freedom FROM religion
C code. C code run. Run, code, run! (please?)
The Klingon Prime Directive: [tiHoH in Klingon font] Kill Them!
Bad cop. Bad BAD cop. NO DONUT.
If you drink, don't park. Accidents cause people!
If you can read this, I can hit my brakes and sue you!
Grad School – It's not just a job, it's an indenture!
Do Not Underestimate the Power of the Chocolate Side of the Force!
Nice front bumper you've got there. Shame if something happened to it….
"Gun Control" isn't about guns. It's about control.
A cat, by any other name, is still a sneaky little furball that barfs on the furniture
Another Deadline, Another Miracle
Militant Agnostic. I don't know, and you don't either!
Blessed be the censors, for they shall truly inhibit the earth
Censorship? We don't have any censorship. If we did, I couldn't say XXXX or XXXX..
XXXXXX the censors!
Creature of the Night
The truth is out there. Trust no one. Deny everything.
Death Before Dishonor Nothing Before Coffee
Vegetables aren't food. Vegetables are what food eats.
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I can't brain today. I have the dumb.
Small brain, big universe
Wheelchair….Sex Toy….What's the difference?
Your safeword is not my kink
Fascist meanie poo-poo head
Do not touch me without asking. If I say 'no', stop asking.
I have no shame. I sold it because I wasn't using it.
I'm much cuter on my knees
NAKED PROOFING: Expose yourself to literature
Now that I have you at my mercy, what do I do next?
Poly, but would probably rather be reading
Nipples pierced, hug with caution
That's DOCTOR Castrating Bitch to you
Victim [crossed out] Bottom Wanted
What part of "I SURRENDER, DON'T HURT ME, DO WITH ME AS YOU WILL" don't you understand, dear?
Don't blame me, I didn't vote for his daddy, either!
One person, one vote (Offer not valid in Florida)
Falwell and Robertson don't speak for me!
Extremism in defense of religion is no virtue.
Running Microsoft? What do you want to fix today?
Legalizing Concealed Weapons would be just fine if stupidity was outlawed
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