They'll make me wear a beeper when they put it into my cold dead hands
They'll take away my sword when they pry my cold dead fingers off the hilt
Thine is not to reason why, thine is just to figure pi [Vulcan humor]
Things could be worse. Suppose your errors were counted and recorded every day like those of a baseball player.
Things only appear to get lost–they're waiting for you in next week
Things will go on as they always have–that is to say, badly
Think "HONK" if you're a telepath
THINK–If you are already thinking, please disregard this button
Think of it as evolution in action
This button boldly goes where no button has gone before
This button goes to the next person who buys me a drink
This button goes to the next person who gives me a hug
This button has been brought to you by the language 'C' and the letter 'F'
This button has been brought to you by the language C and the number F
This button is cursed. As you read you will be confuset by ther printeb wertz. Yer intellijenc wil vabni…xrt! xrt!
This button is right side up–the person wearing it has flipped [text is upside down]
This button isn't really very witty and it runs on and on and you'd probably be much happier reading some other button. Most of them aren't half as depressing as this one. Don't say I didn't warn you.
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There must be more fools than knaves in the world, or else the knaves wouldn't have enough to live on
There you go again–thinking you have rights
There's a thin woman inside every fat woman…I ate mine
There's a typo in this sentence, but it slides away when your eyes move toward it
There's always free cheese in a mousetrap
There's always the temptation to let other people think you're normal
There's more to life than sitting around in the sun in your underwear playing the clarinet
There's never time to do it right. There's always time to do it over.
There's no need to do housework–after four years the dirt doesn't get any worse
There's so much comedy on tv–is it causing comedy in the streets?
There's so much unhappiness on television, we don't need more of it in real life
These are my opinions. If they were the biblical truth, your bushes would be burning.
These are the days of Miracle Whip and Wonder Bread
They aren't broken, they're…uh…modular
They got the library at Alexandria–they're not getting mine
They lived in two worlds. They loved in one.
They say the wages of sin are death, but after they take out taxes, all that's left is a tired feeling
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There can't be a crisis next week–my schedule is already full
There comes a moment in everyone's life, and I've had plenty of them
There comes a time when nothing's left but style
There IS a conspiracy. I'm it.
There is a fine line between courage and foolishness. Too bad it's not a fence.
There is a very fine line between reality and fantasy–and I'd just as soon obscure it
There is no heaven or hell–only smoking or non-smoking
There is no key to the universe. It was never locked.
There is no point in getting angry, but there is a stupid malignity to all this that does try one's patience
There is no situation, no matter how miserable, that the police cannot make worse
There is no substitute for good manners–except fast reflexes
There is no substitute for incomprehensible good luck
There is no TRUTH There is no REALITY There is no CONSISTENCY There are no ABSOLUTE STATEMENTS I'm very probably wrong
There is not now and never will be a language in which it is the least bit difficult to write bad programs
There is one difference between a madman and me. I am not mad.
There is something fascinating about cosmology. One gets such wholesale returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of fact.
There isn't much to being a comedian when you have the whole government working for you
There isn't time enough for love, so what does that leave for hate?
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That's ok–I don't remember my name either
Theatre is life. Cinema is art. Television is furniture.
The Theorem Theorem: If if, then then
The therapist is NOT in
There ain't no such thing as a free weekend
There are many intelligent species in the universe. They all own cats.
There are many intelligent species in the universe. They are all owned by cats.
There are more ways of killing a cat than buttering it with parsnips
There are no accidents–only plans other people don't tell you about
There are no answers, only cross-references
There are no normal people, only people you don't know very well
There are only 2000 real people in the world–the rest are bad special effects
There are three types of people–those who can count, and those who can't
There are two types of people–I'm not either of them
There are two types of people, those who do the work, and those who get the credit. Join the first group–there's less competition.
There are two types–those who hate the x86 architecture, and liars
There are very few personal problems which can't be solved by a suitable application of high explosives.
There are very few problems which can't be solved by a suitable application of high explosives
There are very few problems which can't be solved by ripping a hole in reality
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Techno-pagan
Terminator–The few, the proud, the machines
Thank you for not breathing while I smoke
Thank you for not lecturing me about not smoking
Thank you for not trying to raise my consciousness
Thank you for trying to sell me something I don't want, but I don't have any surplus hostility to vent. Could you please come back at a worse time?
Thank you for your gift of sarcasm. I will cherish it always.
That may well be so true, but my mind working am not
That was ZEN, this is TAO
That which does not kill me had better be able to run away damn fast
That which does not kill me makes me smarter
That which does not kill me makes me smarter, except for oxygen deprivation
That which does not kill me makes me stranger
That which does not kill me makes me stronger. That which does kill me makes me undead.
That which does not kill us powers up our weapons
That which does not kill you may just be….toying
That's *MS.* Seething Storm Cloud to you!
That's not irrelevant, that's a hypoteneuse….or maybe it's just a fig newton of your imagination
That's odd. That's very odd. Wouldn't you say that's very odd?
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Suffering makes you deep. Travel makes you broad. I'd rather travel.
Sunrise is nature's way of telling you it's bedtime
Support free trade–smuggle!
Support your local medical examiner–die strangely
Support your local thieves' guild–leave your doors unlocked
SUSHIDO–The way of the Tuna
Sweet, Lovable, Deadly….
SysAdmins can't be sued for malpractice but surgeons don't have to deal with patients who install new versions of their own innards
System Error–press F13 to continue
The system has been overhauled, and all its major weaknesses have been exposed, analysed, and replaced with new weaknesses
Systems Analysis: finding the right wrench to pound in the correct screw
T'ai Chi isn't a martial art–it's a MARTIAN art. Martians move slowly in earth gravity
Take me home–furry people need love too
Take my advice–I'm not using it
Talk to the OTHER autocrat!
Taste me, taste me–I'm organic
Taxation is theft; Conscription is slavery; War is murder
Taxation WITH representation isn't so great either
Teacher from the Black Lagoon
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Star Trek V–Shat happens
Starship Troopers: There can be only Juan
State lotteries are a tax rebate for intelligence
Stealing from others is called plagiarism. Stealing from yourself iscalled style.
Stealth stealth stealth stealth stealth stealth stealth stealth WHAP!!
Stifle is practically the only word which is an anagram of itself
Stop me before I volunteer again…and again…and again…
Storytellers live to tell the tale
Straight but not narrow
Strange attractors–getting there is half the fun
The street finds its own uses for technology; the net finds its own uses for garbage
Strong typing is for people with weak minds
The strongest reason for people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government–Thomas Jefferson
Stuck on the on-ramp to the information superhighway
Student of the Harry Tuttle school of Revolutionary Plumbing
Stupid? I don't know the meaning of the word
Stupidity got us into this mess–why can't it get us out?
Submissive in the bedroom, dominant EVERYWHERE else
Sub-space communications–the next best thing to beaming there
Subvert the dominant paradigm!
Success didn't spoil me–I've always been insufferable
Success is achieving the top of the food chain
Suffering from the inhumanity of regular employment
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Sometimes my NOW is later than it should be
Sometimes reality has no sense of style
Sometimes the only solution is to find a new problem
Sometimes the truth can be so unnecessary
Sometimes you're the windshield, sometimes you're the bug
Somewhere, just out of sight, the unicorns are gathering
Sorry, I don't date outside my species
Sorry I'm late…Do we hate everyone, or should I concentrate on someone in particular
SPCA–we're here to inquire about the health of Dr. Schrodinger's cat
Speak, friend, and enter. If you don't press enter, nothing happens.
Speak softly and wear a LOUD shirt
Speaker to Teletypes
Spending a year dead for tax purposes
SPOON!!!
The squeaky wheel gets the hammer
Squint as you approach me, lest you be blinded by my beauty
SSDC–Same Shit, District of Columbia
SSDD–Same shit, different dimension
Standards are just industry's way of codifying obsolescence
Star Trek IV–so long, and thanks for all the fish
Star Trek is irrelevant. The Borg are irrelevant. Uselessness is futile. You will be assimilated.
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So many books, so little money
So many books, so little time
So many books, so little time/money/shelf space [checklist]
So many centuries, so little time
So many galaxies, so little time
So many languages, so little time
So when is it MY turn to fly the black helicopters?
The software is full of magical things patiently waiting for our staff training to improve
Software is like entropy–it's hard to grasp, weights nothing, and is always increasing
Software isn't released, it's allowed to escape
Some days, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps
Some folks just aren't cut out to be normal…
Some people are useless on top of the ground–they should be under it, inspiring the cabbages
Some people have a way with words, and some people….um, thingy
Some people have children in order to buy toys–I feel it's cheaper and more dignified to cut out the middleman and buy toys for myself
Some people live life in the fast lane. I live in oncoming traffic.
Some people say life is the thing, but I prefer reading
Some things are still sacred–I haven't taken them apart yet
Someday I'm going to take all the red tape and tie up the Establishment for a change
Something Wiccan this way comes
Sometimes I feel like a figment of my own imagination
Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should just live next door and visit now and then.
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606 The area code of the Beast
669 The Number of the Beastiality
669 The Orgy of the Beast [the numbers are tumbling about in undignified fashion]
666-6667 The Wrong Number of the Beast
668–the Neighbor of the Beast
666…..999 The quotation marks of the Beast
666A The Tenant of the Beast
Sleep?
Sleep deprivation is fun–you see such pretty colors
Sleep is for the weak
Sleep is for wimps. Happy, healthy, well-rested wimps, but wimps nonetheless
Sleep is good. I should do it sometime.
Sleep is great, but it's no substitute for caffeine
Sleep? No thanks, I'm trying to cut down
Sleeping till noon is a start
Slit your wrists–it'll lower your blood pressure
Smile and the world smiles with you. Frown and you get credit for thinking.
Smile! Cthulhu loves you!
Smile. Tomorrow will be worse.
Smurf Exterminator
Smurfs are baby Gamelons
Sneak sneak sneak sneak sneak sneak POUNCE!
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