Death before decaf
Death before dishonor, but neither before breakfast
Death called while you were out, so I gave him your pager number
Death is but a doorway Here, let me hold that for you
Death? Life? I never did understand Zen.
Death or compliance–now that's not to much to ask for, is it?
Death to Barney!
Debate politics with a fern. If you lose, refuse to water it.
Debugging is anticipated with distaste, performed with reluctance, and bragged about forever
#define sysop GOD #define reality NULL
Deja Fu: The feeling that somewhere, somehow you've been kicked in the head like this before
Deja Who?: The feeling that you've forgotten that face before
Delight and amaze me!
Democracy is based on the theory that the common people know what they want and deserve to get it–good and hard!
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Dahling, don't be so third-level
Damn fine coffee, and HOT!
Damn I'm good
Damn it, Jim, you're a television personality, not an actor
Dancin' fool [picture of dancing jester]
The danger from computers is not that they will become smarter than we are, but that we will meet them halfway
Darwin Prevention Team We stop evolution from happening
Dax/Odo in '96 Leadership that adapts
The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life
dBase is the non-programming language in which non-programmers write non-programs
Deadly ninja throwing button
Dear Janeway—Hate you, Hate Chakotay, Taking the ship—Love, The Crew
Dear Starfleet, Hate you, Hate the Federation, Taking Voyager. —Janeway
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Cthulhu Cthucks
Cthulhu cthucks, but does he cthwallow?
Cthulhu Express When it absolutely, positively has to be turned into an eldritch crawling horror in eons
Cthulhu for President [if you're tired of choosing the lesser of two evils]
Cthulhu isn't really his name, he just has a speech impediment
Cthulhu lives–in MY refrigerator
Cthulhu Saves–in case he's hungry later
Curb your god
The customer is always right until proven otherwise–lets them feel good for a few minutes
The customer isn't always right, but they do get an unnatural amount of slack
Cute? I can do cute
Cyberslut
Cynical? No, I'm an optimist
A cynic's work is never done
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A corporation will do things too dumb for a person to do. A government will do things too dumb for a corporation to do. The bigger and older a corporation is, the more it resembles a government.
The Corps is mother, the Corps is father….but Bester is a REAL mother
Corrupt politicians make the other 10% look bad
Couch Potato
Couch potatoes have brain tubers
A couple of months in the laboratory can frequently save a couple of hours in the library
The cow ate bluegrass and mooed indigo
A cowboy walked into a bar. He was wearing a paper hat, a paper bandana, a paper shirt, paper chaps, and paper pants. He was arrested…for rustlin'
Crampy Diem seize the Midol
Crankiness….for me it's just as natural as morning
Create a system any fool can use, and only a fool will want to use it
Creature of the Night
Crime doesn't pay, but at least you're your own boss
Crisis or no, nothing must interfere with tea!
Cry CHEEBLE! and unloose the hamsters of war
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The computing field is always in need of new cliches
Con of the living dead
Con Staff [in Darwin fish]
A conference is a place where conversation is substituted for the dreariness of labor and the loneliness of thought
Confidence is the feeling you have before you understand the problem
Conform, go crazy, become a lawyer
Conform, go crazy, become a writer or an artist, or stylishly fake it like the rest of Manhattan
Conform, go crazy, or become a writer
Conform, go crazy, or become an artist
Congress shall make no law….What part of NO didn't you understand?
Conquering Russia is a steppe by steppe process
Conservatives should learn the difference between a sin and a crime and liberals should learn the difference between a virtue and a requirement
Control Data: don't let it control you
Conventions–my job away from job
Cooking is great–it's a socially acceptable excuse to play with knives and fire
The cops can't get me–they're all prisoners of the donut shops
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Cold milk, warm backrubs, hot baths…all temperature cheer
Come on, people–I can only do six things at once, and one of them HAS to be breathing
Committees have become so important that subcommittees have to be appointed to do the work
Common sense is what tells you the earth is flat
Competency is its own punishment
Complex problems have simple, easy to understand, wrong answers
A computer is a genie that can grant any wish. The catch is that you must express your wish exactly, in binary.
The computer is happy. The computer is crazy. The computer will try to make you happy. This will drive you crazy.
The computer is stronger than the pen, the sword, and usually, the programmer
Computer Technicalities–it's all geek to me
Computers are like the Old Testament God–lots of rules and no mercy
Computers eat time–we only THINK they run on electricity
Computers run on smoke. If it leaks out, they don't work.
Computers save time like kudzu prevents soil erosion
Computers will be perfect when they can predict how much more the job will cost than the estimate
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Christopher Robin Hood steals from the rich and gives to the Pooh
Circular Definition: see Circular Definition
Circular logic is self-validating. Therefore, it is correct.
Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult
Clinton wants us to sacrifice–let's start with politicians
Cloning is the sincerest form of flattery
A closed mouth gathers no feet
Clue
COBOL is just a bug with syntax
COBOL is the next best thing to coding it in binary
COBOL programs are an example of artificial inelegance
COBOL sucks, Pascal bytes, and assembly is a bits!
Code as if whoever maintains your code is a violent psychopath who knows where you live
Coffee-based lifeform
Coffee is my only REAL friend
Coffee makes it possible to get out of bed, chocolate makes it worthwhile
Cogito Ergo Spud–I think, therefore I yam
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Chaotic Evil means never having to say you're sorry
Cheap, Fast, Food–pick two
Cheap, Fast, Good–pick two
"Check out my home page", said the spider to the fly
Cheer up–if the economy collapses completely, you won't owe your student loan to ANYBODY
Chem E's make the best heat exchangers
The chief cause of problems is solutions
Child of a Looser God
A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.
Children shouldn't be exposed to censorship. Can I get a chip for that?
Chocolate will never replace sex….unless it's VERY good chocolate
Chopped cabbage–it's not just a good idea…it's THE SLAW
Christians do it with Grace
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Caution: Hungry Dieter–May bite if provoked
Caution–I was not hired for my disposition
CD WOM–Wead onwy memowy
Ceci | n'est pas une pipe
Celestial Mechanic–inclined to be eccentric
Censorship ///// is for your own good <has slashout>
Certified Public Assassin
C'est la vie. C'est la guerre. [picture of celery] Say no more. Say what?
C'est la vie, C'est la guerre, Say no more
Chaos is King, and Magic is loose in the world
Chaotic Amorals have more fun
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Cats are nature's response to orderliness
Cats are not baby substitutes, babies are cat substitutes
Cats are roommates. Dogs are kids.
Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't teach eight cats to pull a sled.
The cats did it
Cats don't ask. Cats take.
Cats don't get into mischief. Cats are mischief.
Cat: furry keyboard cover and alarm clock
Cat–the other white meat
Cats have simple tastes–the best is satisfactory
Cats know your every thought. They don't care, but they know.
Cats take their half of the bed out of the middle
Caution: Contents under pressure
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