Mirror | rorriM

Skeleton goes into a bar and orders a pint. And a mop.

After digging to a depth of 100m last year, English scientists found traces of copper wiring dating back 1000 years, and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network one thousand years ago.

So as not to be outdone, in the weeks that followed, Scottish scientists dug 200m, and headlines in the Scottish newspapers read:- “Scots scientists have found traces of 2000 year old optical fibres, and have concluded that their ancestors already had advanced high-tech digital telephones 1000 years earlier than the English.”

One week later, the Irish press reported the following:- “After digging as deep as 5000m, Irish scientists have found absolutely nothing. They have concluded that 5000 years ago, their ancestors were already using mobile phones.”

Two fonts walk into a bar.

Barman sez “Oi! you two, out. We don’t serve your type in here….”

Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients to

operate on.

The first surgeon says, “I like to see accountants on my

operating table because when you open them up, everything

inside is numbered.”

The second responds, “Yeah, but you should try electricians!

Everything inside them is color coded.”

The third surgeon says, “No, I really think librarians are

the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order.”

The fourth surgeon chimes in, “You know, I like construction

workers. Those guys always understand when you have a few

parts left over at the end, and when the job takes longer

than you said it would.”

But the fifth surgeon shut them all up when he observed:

“You’re all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate

on. There’s no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains and no

spine, and the head and the rear end are interchangeable.