TrekEarth | My Blue Umbrella Photo

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Jokebook:Jewish Jokes – Wikibooks, collection of open-content textbooks

From the page: ” * An old lady is very scared of flying, and is unconvinced by her son-in-law%u2019s advice that only one plane in five hundred thousand even have a bomb attempted to get on. She asks, %u201CWhat%u2019s the chance of there being two bombs on one flight?%u201D He assures her that it would be impossible. Now, she%u2019ll fly anywhere%u2026 as long as she%u2019s got her bomb with her.

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TrekEarth | Umbrella Photo

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TrekEarth | Umbrella Tear Photo

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TrekEarth | A rainy day in Istanbul Photo

fourth

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Some adventurers are traveling

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    Some adventurers are traveling through the jungle. They come upon a tribe of natives who take them captive. The leader of the tribe tells the men they will let them choose how they are to die. The first guy asks for a sword with which to run himself through. They give him one, and he starts to attack the tribe, but they overtake him and kill him, then use his skin for a canoe. The second one asks for a gun with which to shoot himself. They give him one, and he starts shooting at the tribe, but they overtake him, kill him, and use his skin for a canoe. The third asks for a fork, and the tribe figures, hey, how much damage can he do with a fork? So they give him one. Furiously, he starts poking himself with it. “To hell with your canoes!” he exclaim
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A man has six children and is

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A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud
of himself, that he starts calling his wife, “Mother of Six” in spite of her
objections. One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it’s time to
go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He
shouts at the top of his voice, “Shall we go home ‘Mother of Six?’ His
wife, irritated by her husband’s lack of discretion, shouts right back,
“Anytime you’re ready, Father of Four.”

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A man who just died is

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A man who just died is delivered to the mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit. The mortician asks the deceased’s wife how she would like the body dressed. He points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing. The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives the mortician a blank check and says, “I don’t care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.”

The woman returns the next day for the viewing. To her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly. She says to the mortician, “Whatever this cost, I’m very satisfied. You did an excellent job and I’m very grateful. How much did you spend?” To her astonishment, the mortician presents her with the blank cheque. “There’s no charge,” he says. “No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!” she says. “Honestly, ma’am,” the mortician says, “it cost nothing. You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband’s size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice. So I just switched the heads.”

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Jokebook:Borgism – Wikibooks, collection of open-content textbooks

From the page: “I am Heisenborg. You will probably be assimilated.”

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Jokebook:Blonde Jokes – Wikibooks, collection of open-content textbooks

A blonde and a brunette are walking along a road. Suddenly the brunette gasps. “Look, a dead bird!” The blonde looks up. “Where?”

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