I feel like I'm trapped in

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  • I feel like I'm trapped in a Hemmingway story.  If I get any more cryptic, I won't be able to talk at all.
  • I fight for what I believe in. I'm a mercenary, and what I believe in is money.
  • I finally got back on the net.  Now I will never get anything done.
  • I finally got it all together–but then I forgot where I put it
  • I find it hard to sit still in one spot, and impossible to sit still in two spots
  • I find your lack of faith disturbing
  • I found Jesus, and he said, "Tag, you're it!"
  • I gave my books their own room.  Now they want the whole house.
  • I give good back
  • I go from 0 to bitch in 1.5 seconds.  Take your foot off the accelerator
  • I got a life, but it won't run on my operating system
  • I got rid of the kids–the cat was allergic
  • I grew up on Mt. Everest and everything's been downhill since
  • I guess we were all guilty.  We all shot him, we all skinned him, and we all got a complimentary bumper sticker that said, "I killed Bob".
  • I had my car's alignment checked. It's Chaotic Evil.
  • I had no shoes and wept.  Then I met a man who had no feet.  So I said, "Hey man, got any shoes you're not using?"
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