The Freaky Phobias!

The leading body for Great Mole Rat research has this to say on their website, along with a common sense solution for avoiding becoming Great Mole Rat fodder:

    The Great Mole Rat leads all other mole rats on the mole rat planet.
    Do you have Zemmiphobia?
    When traveling to Mole Ratia sector 12 during your intergalactic summer holiday do you quiver in fear at the propaganda posters and murals of His Excellency The Great Mole Ratrat?
    Can you not bare to read in history class about The great mole rat leader, like when The Great Mole Rat led his army through Europe in 306 AD?
    Does it pain you to participate in the great parade on Worship the Leader day, where his excellency is present?
    If you answered yes to all these questions then you are Zemmiphobic. Just stop going to the mole rat planet, ‘kay?”

    —-+++—-

    Thanks to doubtomatic.stumbleupon.com for bringing this worthy cause to my attention.

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Weapons Of Sound – Junk Band Extravaganza!


Found while trying to save some innocent plant pots from the ravages of mlokWeapons of Sound make rubbish music! (*giggle*) ahem which is to say rather they make music with rubbish, or as they themselves put it – Junk Funk:

“In January 1993 the Weapons of Sound junk funk extravaganza began its frenzied journey through the uncharted realms of all things bashable. Kitchen sinks, gas pipes, shopping trolleys, plastic barrels, scaffolding . . . nothing escaped in the initial clamour to build bold and beatable instruments.”

Oh yes indeedy, bangin’ on things is fun ๐Ÿ˜‰ as can clearly be evidenced by these (regrettably few, regrettably short) samples.

There are some more on the site, although in RealPlayer format, which I shan’t link as Real is of course the work of satan, and to be quite frank one of his dodgier efforts, lucyfur needs to brush up his VB skillz that’s for sure, or learn a real programming language, like perl for instance.

Urban Strawberry Lunch are purveyors of similar refuse related rhythms, however there isn’t really anything much up on their site as yet, we wait with bated breath, and hankies over our noses…

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A Speech

Stumbleupon Review

A Speech

    “I ask, which leader is it today that has the vision, the willpower, and yes, the backbone to best protect us?

    The clear answer to that question has placed me in this hall with you tonight.

    There is but one man to whom I am willing to entrust our future and that man’s name is ——–.

    There are some crazy men who would kill us if they could. So ——- has told us: ‘All private plans, all private lives, have been in a sense repealed by an overriding public danger.’

    But where is the national unity in this country when we need it most?

    Now, while young ———- are dying in the mud in ——- and the mountains of ——, our nation is being torn apart and made weaker because of the ——-‘s manic obsession to bring down our leader.

    What has happened to the nation I’ve spent my life working in?

    I can remember when ——- believed that it was the duty of ——- to fight for freedom over tyranny.

    Time after time in our history, in the face of great danger, ——- worked together to ensure that freedom would not falter. But not today.

    Motivated more by partisan politics than by national security, today’s ——– leaders see ——- as an occupier, not a liberator.

    And nothing makes me madder than someone calling ——- troops occupiers rather than liberators.

    Tell that to the —–, —–, —–, and ——- who have been freed because ———- led an army of liberators, not occupiers.

    Tell that to the millions of men, women, and children who are free today from the ——- to the ——-, from ——- to the ——, because ———- built a military of liberators, not occupiers.

    Never in the history of the world has any soldier sacrificed more for the freedom and liberty of total strangers than the —— soldier. And our soldiers don’t just give freedom abroad; they preserve it for us here at home.

    Right now, the world just cannot afford an indecisive ——–. Fainthearted, self-indulgence will put at risk all we care about in this world.

    In this hour of danger, our ——– has had the courage to stand up. And I am proud to stand up with him.

    God bless this great country and God bless ———–.”


One size fits all, fill in the blanks and use as needed. ๐Ÿ™‚

more

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iOWEYOU – Expenses sharing calculator – Housemates, flatmates, roommates, c

Ah ha! at last a means for me to work out how much my cats owe me each week!

A web based expenses sharing site from the people that brought you paper vending machine cups.

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Inezs reviews


Although Inez is known to most here as a mild mannered blogger of the most magnificent, photographic, artistic, and literary finds; what few realise is that in Poland she has another slightly wilder life as lead guitarist for the well known punk rock band Dezerter. A frantic and uptempo ensemble that perhaps explains why she likes to kick back and relax here on SU. Of course as well as this she was a leading light (some might say a firebrand!)in the Komitet Obrony Robotnikรณw a group of intellectual dissidents that strongly backed Lech Wałęsa’s Solidarność movement in the 1980’s, once holding back an entire batallion of riot police armed with nothing but a rolled up newspaper.

Some speculate that after a brief tete a tete with the director Krzysztof Kieslowski she may have been the role model for several of his leading ladies. But only the nice ones.

Of course what is known to fewer people still is that she is actually my daughter… well, you can forgive me for being a little shy about that, don’t really want to give away my age ๐Ÿ™‚

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jlist.com/IMAGE/4qvyr


Handy free flashcards for Japanese Language learners!

Features essential phrases such as ‘Tamakeri’ which is a special
sort of the most deliciousest cake you can imagine!! It’s also
rather an insider secret, known only to the natives and old japan-hands.

In order to try it for yourself you need to go down to the ‘Kabukicho’ Cake District in
Shinjuku (From inside Shinjuku Station, follow the signs to the “Central
East Exit”. Once out you’ll see “My City”. Then cross over Yasukuni Dori
Avenue in the direction away from the station.)

Once there you should find numbers of young women, some perhaps wearing
traditonal sailor suits (hearkening back to days when the cakes used to
have to be imported by sea from Korea), these are Tamakeri Waitresses,
simply ask tell them that you would like to to try Tamakeri, pay them what
they ask, and you will be rubbing your stomach in delight in no time!

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eXile – Issue #226 – Feature Story – Stranger in a Strange Land


Stranger in a Strange Land

by Asya Passinsky

I‘m not sure how much of this story is true. I thought I’d gotten to know Masha, a Tajik fruit and vegetable seller that I’d befriended by Belorusky Voksal. But then maybe Russian stereotypes about Central Asians have some truth to them: Russians say that they always smile and say yes, but you never really know what they’re thinking.

One thing I can say for certain is that Masha’s life is living hell. It’s not that the work is particularly difficult-though I had a hard enough time with it, constantly mixing up prices and adding things up wrong-but that the hours are completely inhumane. Two-thirds of every day Masha spends in a cramped box. And it’s not like she gets any days off. According to my calculations, Masha’s workweek amounts to 105 hours. 105 hours! Even the brutal Russian Labor Code doesn’t sanction that.

Unfortunately for Masha, labor laws in Moscow don’t exactly protect illegal migrant workers. And gaining legal status is nearly impossible.

Masha pulled out some old photos of herself and showed them to me. In one of them, she is about 19 and wearing a black and white dress cotton suit. Her hair is pulled back and parted to the side. With dimples and a slight smile, she looks stunningly beautiful. In her hands she is holding a stuffed animal dressed in bright red pants and a pink hat. On the left stands her sister, cradling a child. The three of them look like a happy, healthy middle class provincial family.

It’s hard to tell how attractive she is now, in her lumpy beige-colored working sweater and poorly chopped, dyed hair, which she restyled in an attempt to look more Russian (never mind that she has clearly Asian features). But six months of being stuck in a kiosk all day have taken their toll. She’s gained weight, her arms are bulky with muscle, her face is pudgier, and she has deep creases under her eyes, which she ineffectively tries to cover up with cheap cosmetics.

Masha’s best years are behind her. But like most women, she still wants to feel beautiful. Last week she bought R600 perfume from some vendor that was going around the kiosks selling beauty products. The sad part is that she has no one to wear it for. All her days are the same: she gets to the kiosk by 8am, works until 11pm with no breaks, rides the bus back to the 2-bedroom apartment she shares with seven of her relatives, takes a shower, does laundry, and goes to bed.

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“Do people in America kiss

Stumbleupon Review


“Do people in America kiss only when they’re in love?” Masha suddenly asked me.

According to her, that is how things are done in Tajikistan. Yet for all her romantic talk, she is quite a cynic where love is concerned, and not without reason. Masha was 23 when she fell in love with her husband. But shortly after their marriage-when she was pregnant with their son-he left for St. Petersburg to look for work. There he fell for a Tatar woman. At one point he told Masha that he wanted both her and the Tatar woman. Masha wrote him a sentimental poem in Russian that she pulled out for me to see-why it was written in Russian and not in her native language, I don’t know. Masha seemed convinced that he cried when he read her poem, though I’m not sure how she could possibly have known if he was thousands of miles away in St. Petersburg.

Gradually he stopped returning her letters. She waited for three years, but didn’t hear from him: no fight, no divorce, no money; just an ambiguous and unresolved situation. She said she heard from his friend that he now has a daughter with the Tatar woman. But Masha still loves him and claims the Tatar woman tricked him.

“You know those Tatar women,” Masha concluded.

I took Masha to a restaurant that night. My most vivid memory is of us going to the bathroom. It was certainly better than pissing in a bucket: the walls were made to look like ivory, with brown circling lines painted on a cream-colored backdrop. The faucets were big and old-fashioned. The entire room smelled like wood. Masha wouldn’t leave. First she washed her hands for nearly ten minutes, scrubbing dirt out of the creases in her palms. But then she just stood there. She looked so out of place, yet so happy. I took a picture of her and promised to send it to her Tajikistan address. But if I do, she might never get it, seeing as it seems like she plans on staying in Moscow.

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SteveCakes reviews



Cake!
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stonepoems reviews


It’s
+++++++++++++++++++

DIVIDE BY ZERO ERROR :: EGGPLANT! EGGPLANT! EGGPLANT! PLEASE ADD CHEESE AND REBOOT UNIVERSE AT LINE 42

+++++++++++++++++++

poems to chicago

and you still have a full tank of gas

nothing rhymes with chicago

10 cigarettes lie in the grass

turn the key – now make that car go

gaze onward… through darkened glass

HIT IT!

+thumbs nose and runs+


* used a calculator this time, don’t tell Horse ๐Ÿ˜€

————-

poor confused stonepoem

thought SU was deviantart

save us arleas!

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