Perhaps before now gentle reader I should have introduced you to the hole, rather remiss of me not to have, as it plays as you will shortly find quite a large role in this story.
which is only fitting as it was rather a large hole perhaps 4 foot in diameter and the same in depth. It had grown down (not up, what hole grows up?) like a mushroom one stormy night, caused by an underground spring (the overground sort would have caused an upwards growing hole) in spate. And it lay directly in the middle of the track back from the loch to the house, but that was ok, it was easily driven round.
So there I was driving merrily along, perhaps even singing cheerfully, but I think probably not, I was not particularly given to song as a child, crow sitting on the back, me sticking slightly to the vinyl, the hole somewhere watching and waiting….
It turns out that this was a strange crow indeed, not content with hitching a lift on the back of the landrover, it (perhaps due to some parrot in it’s distant ancestry…) decided to alight upon my shoulder. The sequence of events that rapidly and in quick machine gun succession followed could best be summarised thus (and I will be brief, so you will have to use your imaginations a little, but then, isn’t that what they are there for neh?):
Crow!
WTF!
Argh!
Hole!
Fuck!
Argh!
CRRUUNNKKKK!
ooopsie!
Fortunately that summer, with that landrover, even recovering it from it’s enholed predicament was an adventure, and it justfied us owning two hi-lift jacks, rather than the more usual one. Which was nice.
The crow stayed with us a few days longer, perched on one shoulder, or head or another, it liked to nibble ears and feed from people’s mouths, which wasn’t very hygeinic I guess, but then often the most fun things aren’t..
Often wondered where it had gone, quite missed it as it was truly unique and companionable bird. Now all these years later at last I know, and I guess Edinburgh isn’t so far …as the crow flies.
[N.B. This is actually a true story]