Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for six days. Eventually, the Archangel Gabriel found him, resting on the seventh day.
God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction, proudly pointed downwards through the clouds and said, “Look Gabriel, look what I’ve made.”
Archangel Gabriel looked puzzled and said, “What is it?”
“It’s a planet”, replied God, “and I’ve put LIFE on it. I’m going to call it Earth and it’s going to be a great place of balance.”
“Balance?” inquired Gabriel, still confused.
God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth. “For example, Northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth while Southern Europe is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot. Over there I’ve placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people” God continued, pointing to different countries. “And over there, I call this place America. North America will be rich and powerful and cold, while South America will be poor, and hot and friendly. And the little spot in the middle is Central America which is a hot spot. Can you see the balance?”
“Yes”, said the Archangel, impressed by God’s work. Then he pointed to a small country in Northern Europe. “What’s that one?”
“Ah,” said God. “That’s Scotland, the most glorious place on Earth. There are beautiful snow capped mountains, untouched rivers, streams and lochs of exquisite, timeless beauty. The people make a drink called Uisge Beatha or Whisky which means The Water of Life. The people are good looking, intelligent and humorous and they’re going to be found travelling the world. They’ll be extremely sociable, hard-working and high-achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as warriors, engineers, inventors and pioneers.”
Gabriel gasped in wonder and admiration but then exclaimed, “You said there will be BALANCE!”
God replied wisely. “Wait until you see the b***ards I’m putting next to them!”