Mirror | rorriM

Then a man said: Speak to us of Expectations.

He then said: If a man does not see or hear the waters of the Jordan, then he should not taste the pomegranate or ply his wares in an open market.

If a man would not labour in the salt and rock quarries then he should not accept of the Earth that which he refuses to give of himself.

Such a man would expect a pear of a peach tree.
Such a man would expect a stone to lay an egg.
Such a man would expect Sears to assemble a lawnmower.

Kehlog Albran – The Profit

It is impossible to put too much salt on cottage cheese.

Kehlog Albran – The Profit

NEVER forget: the ant can carry eight times its own weight.
Or is it nine?

Kehlog Albran – The Profit

Then an athlete said,
Speak to us of Balance.
He then said:
Man cannot know the meaning of Balance until he has felt the consequences of losing his Balance.

In nature’s plan of interdependence, one animal must die so that another animal may live.
This is, of course, the Balance of Nature.
But, more importantly, nature does not waste.
Man, however, causes nature to be unbalanced at times.
Animals that have survived eons become extinct at man’s merciless hand.
The ground ceases to bear fruit from man’s misuse of crops.
Water becomes dead and lifeless from man’s foreign chemicals.

Yes, man has much to learn about Balance.

So, when you see an acrobat struggle to walk a tightrope, remember that man is not as highly balanced as he looks.
ANd that he remains the second clumsiest animal on earth.

And what is the clumsiest animal on earth, Master, the man inquired.

Oh, you haven’t met my horse either, he replied.

Kehlog Albran – The Profit

And a scholar asked, Should a man drink wines, ales and liquors to excess?
He then said:
He who drinks too much wine will feel the price of that ecstasy the next morning.
For exotic liquors must be taken in moderation or all will pay the penalty of misuse.

Man is the only creature to have the ability to create intoxicants.
No other animal has the taste for spirits.
Nature allows no other animal to taste of that pleasure, because nature depends upon all other animals to remain stable and predictable.
Man is the only animal that is allowed the dubious privilege of overindulgence.

Have you ever seen another animal drunk and falling down in the street, sobbing, stinking, and acting totally insane?
No, I haven’t, Master, replied the scholar.

Then you haven’t met my horse, the Master stated.

Kehlog Albran – The Profit

AND an orator said,
Speak to us of Silence.

And he said:
Silence can be a valuable tool.
And it can be a great inconvenience.
If a man should ask you a question and you remain silent, he may take it as an insult.
Yet if you answer him, he may take it as a larger insult.
When a person remains silent it provokes mystery, as happened many years ago in Hafnir, near Pez.

In that town there lived a very beautiful young woman.
Her beauty was unsurpassed, but she had one flaw.
For, as long as she had lived she had never spoken a single word.
One day the Calif and a group of citizens called upon her father’s house as they had so often in the past years.
They were there to encourage her to speak.

The Calif cleared his throat and asked:
“If an apple tree, heavy with fruit, should go unnoticed by man, the birds, and the changing seasons, and all of the fruit should rot, never to be tasted, would not this be a Sin?”
She did not reply.

The Calif then asked:
“If a fireplace contained dry wood and kindling, would it not be a Sin never to ignite the fire and fulfill the fireplace’s destiny?”
She did not reply.

The Calif then asked:
“If a bird of magnificent plumage should never venture to take to the air, the skies and places distant from its home — would that not be a pitiful waste of Nature?”
It was then that her eyes alighted, and she looked up at the Calif.
Her soft lips smiled and parted, and for the first time in her life she spoke.

What were the words that broke her Silence, Master, the man inquired.

“Your fly is open,” he recalled.

Kehlog Albran – The Profit

Arguments with furniture are rarely productive.

Kehlog Albran – The Profit

THEN a young traveler said,
Speak to us of Home, Master.

And he answered:
There is nothing so tender as a man’s Home.
Though I have not returned to the place of my childhood and the treasured memories of the past, I can envision them perfectly in my mind’s eye.
Yes, I know what Home is.
For there in the far-off valley of Bhagrir, by the ancient city of Ahdrihl, near the embankment of Eurice, under the Corpit cliffs that proudly encroach upon the sea.
In a small humble house across the town square, next to a towering Cypress, that is where I was born.

Is it the Cypress with the crooked limb, Master, that points toward the setting sun in autumn? the traveler asked.

Yes! Yes! cried the Master.

With the crumbling stone wall leading down to the bay? the traveler persisted.

Exactly! the Master shouted.

Howard Johnson’s! the traveler cried.

Kehlog Albran – The Profit

A woman stepped forward and asked,
What is the strangest day?

Tuesday, the Master replied.

Kehlog Albran – The Profit

Then a person said, Speak to us of Poetry.
And he answered:
There was once a wise poet from the peninsula of Phara.
This peninsula was famous for two things.
It produced either people of incredible stupidity or it produced poets.
Faedil Falzar was the most notable poet ever to come from the region.
He was highly esteemed all over the country.
One day, he travelled to Capez.
There he met a girl who was totally deaf.
He fell in love with her and they were married.
Now, in the town of Capez, women were not encouraged to learn to read, especially deaf women.
So, Faedil Falzar lived the rest of his life under the curse that his most beloved young wife could never know of the beautiful verse he created the loveliest of which was this:
Oh, the beauty of the eye
Of my sweet loved one,
Thelma Y.
Who ne’er upon the course of Life
Did I intend for her; sweet wife,
A wind so foul could not erase
The piteous fury of this space,
Between the two anointed lips
And o’er her wide resplendent hips.
That she and I remain as one,
And together we could have much fun.

Kehlog Albran – The Profit