My partner in crime of the most insane and utterly twisted kind, the sort that makes grown men blanche and feel the need to sing rousing sea shanties just thinking of it…
What crime is this you ask?
Which is so heinous?
Well dear reader, come a little closer, let me whisper it to you. What is that you say, the tarpaulin on the floor? Why that is nothing! just there to protect the carpet when I polka-dot the ceiling later. And the hatchet? I was merely cutting kindling earlier. Come close, close, no need to fear, fear is the mind killer: fear not fear, come hither hither, come hither, come here!
And the crime, well it is that of Writing! **
Ah, I see you recoil! At once both disgusted and shocked beyond measure, but still, but still… Perhaps a little curious?
Perhaps wondering what type it is who falls slave and mistress and master to such black arts and artifices, who it is would dare concoct the bitter or joyous spells of words to twist the hearts and minds of men, women, children?
Who it is, would abandon the purity of truth, taking a little of it only to mix with the lies that are called fiction.
Well, I shan’t be so immodest as to speak to what nature of being I may be.
But, madfuzzyme, she is a wordwitch of the highest order, knowing their inner order, taking them, making them. Dance (dance, Dance, DANCE!!) skyclad beneath a moon so full that even the holiest of saints would turn to the most sordid and unsanctified of pervesrsities by its otherworldly light.
She also knows a great many gods by their first names, the Delphic edition of the Who’s Who is worth every penny so I hear.
Currently she is working as creative menu director at the La Coquina restaurant in Orlando, deciding and orchestrating their weekly themes and the best dishes to complement. If you are ever there then you should definitely go for the ‘madfuzzyme’ special, her trademark 3 course meal, known only to regulars and a privileged few. I shan’t give away too much, but let’s just say that, oysters and red wine are only the warm up act… If you take a date don’t forget to mention the magic phrase “Soy absolutamente tonto” to get the special with all the ‘trimmings’ 😉
Of course you will have to be fast, after being spotted by a talent scout playing the role of Dominatrix Whipping Robot in the Goolies with Excellent Supercilious Sneer in the Kurt Vonnegut rewrite for theatre of Leopold Ritter von Sacher-Masoch’s Venus in Furs She has now been offered a leading role in Disneyland’s latest feature attraction, to open side by side with the film it draws from: Mistress Snow Weiss and the Seven Submissives. a film they had long had in the making and only felt safe to release after the movie Secretary had sufficiently sanitised, made safe, and subsumed into modern avant-pop suburban culture via the means of romantic comedy genre (the velvet fist of sytemic socialist capitalism, would we even have an internet if not for meg ryan? I think not!) movie the whole beady essem trip.
However I digress, madfuzzyme is far more than her future parent corporation. And the fact that she is currently blogging from the Betty Ford clinic holiday break center, due to the whole coke thing shouldn’t put you off reading her blog. It’s a momentary setback, same old story, too much too soon. Twice all america world champion menu setter before she was even 18. (bah hit the word limit!)
pic from here