laugh till cry!!!!!!
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Health
A cold is caused by
micro-orgasms in your nose.
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Last night, when I ate dinner,
I started joking.
My friend hit my back very hard
until I stopped.
I was so lucky he was there!
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I had a little ass dent this morning
but I’m okay now.
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It is dangerous to smoke while
you are becoming pregnant.
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I want my face to have
the buttocks treatment.
The what?
The buttocks treatment. It makes your
wrinkles go away. It’s very famous
in Hollywood.
Oh. It’s pronounced “bo tox”.
That’s it. The buttocks treatment.
Maybe you need it too a little.
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Romance:
The Beginning
I fell in love with her the first time I sawed her.
* * * * *
He had such a worm heart.
* * * * *
My boyfriend is really a eunuch person.
* * * * *
I don’t know if he will propose,
but I am expecting.
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Romance:
The End
I can usually know when he is lying
Because he starts to breed a little faster.
* * * * *
I think she wants to spit up with me.
* * * * *
We were lovers,
but now she is my biggest enema!
* * * * *
We have hated each other for so long.
I want to borrow the hatchet.
* * * * *
My relationship with my
ax girlfriend was so painful.
* * * * *
Parents
My mother is an inferior decorator.
* * * * *
My father is a highly rank
government official.
* * * * *
I always ate lunch at school.
But every day my mother made me suffer.
* * * * *
My bed has three blankets
and a large guilt my parents gave me.
* * * * *
My father met us at the airport
and gave me a big hog.
Then he hogged my wife.
* * * *
Renting
My landlord gave me a one year contraction.
It will be over soon.
* * * * *
Me and my brother share
a small womb in the basement.
* * * * *
We live on the sex floor.
Our apartment is small but we have a nice view.
* * * * *
We have a big problem at my house.
What is it?
Our toilet is out of odor. I’m a little upset.
* * * * *
Weddings
I have something exciting to tell you.
My girlfriend and I got enraged last night!
* * * * *
The groom was wearing
A very nice croissant.
* * * * *
He lifted the veal off her face
and gave her a big kiss.
* * * * *
School
Unfortunately, the school board was forced to
cut fifteen percent off all teachers.
* * * * *
I have really good news.
I passed both my testes last week.
* * * * *
Such behavior will result in
immediately being exploded from the university.
* * * * *
Food
Do you like this food?
I made it from scratching!
* * * * *
I never liked mushrooms,
but now they are starting to grow in me.
* * * * *
Every morning I have some toast
and a big glass of flute juice.
* * * * *
Are you hungry? I have dirty toes.
You have what?
Dirty toes. In my back pack.
Um, can you spell that?
Maybe D-O-R-I-T-O-S. Do you
Want to try one?
No thanks. I’m not so hungry
right now.
* * * * *
Tutoring
I am so eager to mate you!
* * * * *
Please execute me for being late.
* * * * *
Am I making P correctly?
* * * * *
I’m sorry, but I couldn’t write my essay.
My roommate had a toothache this morning.
So you couldn’t write your essay?
Yes! She was swelling and decaying badly!
* * * * *
Sports
We won two gold medals,
one silver, and four blonds!
* * * * *
When we won, I was so exciting
I had goose pimps all over my body.
* * * * *
Did I tell you I climbed half way up
one of the tallest pigs in the world?
* * * * *
It was so exciting to watch!
The cheerleaders threw up high into the air.
* * * * *
Weather, etc.
This morning, I was walking outside,
when suddenly a big shower fell on me!
* * * * *
Rain makes old cars lust. So be careful
about that. Once a car starts lusting,
there’s no way to stop it.
* * * * *
The entire country has been
devastated by a long trout.
* * * * *
When a volcan explodes, millions
of tons of larva can bury a city.
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