{"id":3438905,"date":"2006-02-28T07:07:00","date_gmt":"2006-02-28T07:07:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/su.blog.bunty.tv\/2006\/02\/28\/NetScrap-TM-Excuses-to-miss-a-day-of-work\/"},"modified":"2007-11-26T00:07:20","modified_gmt":"2007-11-26T00:07:20","slug":"NetScrap-TM-Excuses-to-miss-a-day-of-work","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/su.blog.bunty.tv\/?p=3438905","title":{"rendered":"NetScrap(TM): Excuses to miss a day of work."},"content":{"rendered":"<div class='sustuff'>Stumbleupon <a href='http:\/\/horsewithnobunty.stumbleupon.com\/review\/3438905\/'>Review<\/a> of :<br \/>\n\t<a href='http:\/\/www.netscrap.com\/netscrap_detail.cfm?scrap_id=74'>http:\/\/www.netscrap.com\/netscrap_detail.cfm?scrap_id=74<\/a><a href='http:\/\/www.stumbleupon.com\/url\/www.netscrap.com\/netscrap_detail.cfm%3Fscrap_id=74'><img src='http:\/\/bunty.tv\/images\/smallstumble.png'><\/a>\n<\/div>\n<p><\/p>\n<ul><b>Excuses to miss a day of work.<br \/><\/b><\/p>\n<p>A Washington Post contest was held in which readers were asked to <br \/>\ncome up with excuses to miss a day of work.<\/p>\n<p>1.  If it is all the same to you, I won&#8217;t be coming in to work.  The<br \/>\n    voices told me to clean all the guns today.<\/p>\n<p>2.  When I got up this morning, I took two Ex-Lax in addition to my<br \/>\n    Prozac.  I can&#8217;t get off the john, but I feel good about it.<\/p>\n<p>3.  I set half the clocks in my house ahead an hour and the other <br \/>\n    half back an hour Saturday, and spent 18 hours in some kind <br \/>\n    of space-time continuum loop, reliving Sunday (right up until <br \/>\n    the explosion).  I was able to exit the loop only by reversing <br \/>\n    the polarity of the power source exactly e*log(pi) clocks in <br \/>\n    the house while simultaneously rapping my dog on the snout<br \/>\n    with a rolled up Times. Accordingly, I will be in late, or <br \/>\n    early.<\/p>\n<p>4.  My stigmata&#8217;s acting up.<\/p>\n<p>5.  I can&#8217;t come in to work today because I&#8217;ll be stalking my <br \/>\n    previous boss, who fired me for not showing up for work. OK?<\/p>\n<p>6.  I have a rare case of 48-hour projectile leprosy, but I know <br \/>\n    we have that deadline to meet&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>7.  I am stuck in the blood pressure machine down at Wal-Mart.<\/p>\n<p>8.  Yes, I seem to have contracted some attention-deficit disorder <br \/>\n    and, hey, how about them Hoyas, huh?  So, I won&#8217;t be able to, <br \/>\n    yes, could I help you? No, no, I&#8217;ll be sticking with Sprint, <br \/>\n    but thank you for calling.<\/p>\n<p>9.  Constipation has made me a walking time bomb.<\/p>\n<p>10. I just found out that I was switched at birth.  Legally, I <br \/>\n    shouldn&#8217;t come to work knowing my employee records may now <br \/>\n    contain false information.<\/p>\n<p>11. The psychiatrist said it was an excellent session. He even gave <br \/>\n    me this jaw restraint so I won&#8217;t bite things when I am startled.<\/p>\n<p>12. The dog ate my car keys. We&#8217;re going to hitchhike to the vet.<\/p>\n<p>13. My mother-in-law has come back as one of the Undead and we must<br \/>\n    track her to her coffin to drive a stake through her heart and <br \/>\n    give her eternal peace. One day should do it.<\/p>\n<p>14. I am converting my calendar from Julian to Gregorian.<\/p>\n<p>15. I am extremely sensitive to a rise in the interest rates.<\/p>\n<p>16. I can&#8217;t come to work today because the EPA has determined that <br \/>\n    my house is completely surrounded by wetlands and I have to <br \/>\n    arrange for helicopter transportation.<\/p>\n<p>17. I prefer to remain an enigma.<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Stumbleupon Review of : http:\/\/www.netscrap.com\/netscrap_detail.cfm?scrap_id=74 Excuses to miss a day of work. A Washington Post contest was held in which readers were asked to come up with excuses to miss a day of work. 1. If it is all the &hellip; <a href=\"http:\/\/su.blog.bunty.tv\/?p=3438905\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":""},"categories":[1381],"tags":[194],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/su.blog.bunty.tv\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3438905"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/su.blog.bunty.tv\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/su.blog.bunty.tv\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/su.blog.bunty.tv\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/su.blog.bunty.tv\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3438905"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/su.blog.bunty.tv\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3438905\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/su.blog.bunty.tv\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3438905"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/su.blog.bunty.tv\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3438905"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/su.blog.bunty.tv\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3438905"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}