{"id":3310894,"date":"2006-02-14T14:00:00","date_gmt":"2006-02-14T14:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/su.blog.bunty.tv\/2006\/02\/14\/The-USDA-once-wanted-to-make\/"},"modified":"2007-11-26T03:37:43","modified_gmt":"2007-11-26T03:37:43","slug":"The-USDA-once-wanted-to-make","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/su.blog.bunty.tv\/?p=3310894","title":{"rendered":"The USDA once wanted to make"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class='sustuff'>Stumbleupon <a href='http:\/\/horsewithnobunty.stumbleupon.com\/review\/3310894\/'>Review<\/a>\n<\/div>\n<p> <\/p>\n<ul>\n<p>The USDA once wanted to make cows produce milk faster, to improve the dairy<br \/>\nindustry.<\/p>\n<p>So, they decided to consult the foremost biologists and<br \/>\nrecombinant DNA technicians to build them a better cow.<br \/>\nThey assembled this team of great scientists, and gave them<br \/>\nunlimited funding.  They requested rare chemicals, weird<br \/>\nbacteria, tons of quarantine equipment, there was a<br \/>\nGod-awful typhus epidemic they started by accident,<br \/>\nand, 2 years later, they came back with the &#8220;new, improved cow.&#8221;<br \/>\nIt had a milk production improvement of 2% over the<br \/>\noriginal.<\/p>\n<p>They then tried with the greatest Nobel Prize winning chemists<br \/>\naround.  They worked for six months, and, after requisitioning<br \/>\ntons of chemical equipment, and poisoning half the small town<br \/>\nin Colorado where they were working with a toxic cloud from<br \/>\none of their experiments, they got a 5% improvement in milk output.<\/p>\n<p>The physicists tried for a year, and, after ten thousand cows were<br \/>\nsubjected to radiation therapy, they got a 1% improvement in output.<\/p>\n<p>Finally, in desperation, they turned to the mathematicians.  The<br \/>\nforemost mathematician of his time offered to help them with the problem.<br \/>\nUpon hearing the problem, he told the delegation that they could come back<br \/>\nin the morning and he would have solved the problem.  In the morning,<br \/>\nthey came back, and he handed them a piece of paper with the<br \/>\ncomputations for the new, 300% improved milk cow.<\/p>\n<p>The plans began:<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;A Proof of the Attainability of Increased Milk Output from Bovines:<\/p>\n<p>Consider a spherical cow&#8230;&#8230;&#8221;<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Stumbleupon Review The USDA once wanted to make cows produce milk faster, to improve the dairy industry. So, they decided to consult the foremost biologists and recombinant DNA technicians to build them a better cow. They assembled this team of &hellip; <a href=\"http:\/\/su.blog.bunty.tv\/?p=3310894\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":""},"categories":[1381],"tags":[400569],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/su.blog.bunty.tv\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3310894"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/su.blog.bunty.tv\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/su.blog.bunty.tv\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/su.blog.bunty.tv\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/su.blog.bunty.tv\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3310894"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/su.blog.bunty.tv\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3310894\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/su.blog.bunty.tv\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3310894"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/su.blog.bunty.tv\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3310894"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/su.blog.bunty.tv\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3310894"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}