If the government REALLY

Ξ February 28th, 2006 | → 0 Comments | ∇ Humour |

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  • If the government REALLY wanted us to obey the law, they would tell us what it is
  • If the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body...then only left-handed people are in their right minds!
  • If the universe is expanding, why can't I find a parking space?
  • If the wearer of this button shows any signs of depression, administer Chinese food immediately
  • If the wearer of this button shows any signs of depression, administer chocolate immediately!
  • If there is anything in the universe more important than my ego, I want it taken out and shot immediately
  • If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
  • If there were no rhetorical questions, what would we do with our hypothetical answers?
  • If there's so much labor-saving machinery, why don't I have more free time?
  • If they don't want us to drink and drive, we shouldn't need a driver's license to buy beer
  • If they give you lined paper, write the other way!
  • If this is tourist season, what's the bag limit?
  • If tin whistles are made of tin, what are fog horns made of?
  • If today is the first day of the rest of your life, what was yesterday?
  • If trying to control someone else's addiction is codependency, then what's the war on drugs?
  • If voting could change the system, it would be illegal. If not voting could change the system, it would be illegal.
  • If we can build a space shuttle, why can't we build a decent mattress handle?
  • If we have to re-invent the wheel, could we at least get it round this time?
  • If we were meant to fly, we wouldn't keep losing our luggage
  • If we wish to understand the nature of the universe, we have an inner hidden advantage: we are ourselves little portions of the universe, and so carry the answer within us
  • If we're both Significant Others, are we a couple of SO-and-SO's?

 

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