I am not a thug. I am not a

Ξ February 28th, 2006 | → 0 Comments | ∇ Humour |

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  • I am not a thug. I am not a fanatic. I am a vitamin supplement to justice.
  • I am not a trained killer. I LEAD trained killers.
  • I am NOT conceited--I just can't stand mortals
  • I am one of the greatest liars in the English language--I wouldn't be telling you this if I didn't know it wasn't true
  • I am ready to meet my Maker--whether my Maker is prepared for the ordeal of meeting me is another matter
  • I am sick and depraved--please feed me drugs and cookies
  • I am simply a human being, more or less
  • I am the Imp of the Perverse (knowing this won't help you, either)
  • I am the mother of all things, and all things should wear a sweater
  • I am under the influence of sugar, caffeine, and lack of sleep, and should not be held responsible for my behavior
  • I am very flexible--I can put both feet in my mouth
  • I am very interested in the future because I plan to spend the rest of my life there
  • I am what I am, and I don't think Betty Ford takes vampires!
  • I am ZaZa LaBorg--prepare to be assimilated, dollink!
  • I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world.  This makes it hard to plan the day.
  • I bought a zip drive to back up my mind, but I filled it with games
  • I bought the Star Trek chess set and the Civil War chess set. Now I have the South fight the Klingons.
  • I can handle anything as long as it doesn't require skill, talent, training, or knowhow
  • I can stand anything but a succession of ordinary days
  • I canna change the laws of physics, Captain, but I can find ye a loophole
  • I can't be late--I just got here
  • I can't be overdrawn--I still have checks left!

 

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