How many lawyer jokes are

Ξ February 28th, 2006 | → 0 Comments | ∇ Humour |

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  • How many lawyer jokes are there? Four. The rest are all true stories.
  • How many Martians does it take to screw in a light bulb? One and a half.
  • How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, who gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing it to the earlier riddle
  • How many Microsoft employees does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They just get Bill Gates to declare darkness the company standard.
  • How many more innocent people must die before we shut the post office down?
  • How many radio astronomers does it take to change a light bulb? None--they don't bother with that short-wavelength stuff
  • How many recovering co-dependents does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. The recovering co-dependent detaches and tells the lightbulb to screw itself.
  • How many SysAdmins does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They deny privileges to everyone with access to that room.
  • How many usenetters does it take to change a lightbulb? Read the FAQ
  • How many writers does it take to change a light bulb? Never mind that--let me tell you about MY light bulb
  • How they really do it [picture of cat tossing hair from basket]
  • How will you know the answer to that question if you don't ask me out loud?
  • Human beings don't live like this
  • The human mind ordinarily operates at only ten percent of its capacity--the rest is overhead for the operating system
  • The human race is still in beta testing
  • Human speech is like a cracked kettle on which we tap crude rhythms for bears to dance to, while we long to make music that will melt stars
  • The human spirit is a hard thing to kill, even with a chain saw
  • Humanity's strongest impulse is the desire to edit other people's copy ^H^H^H^H words^H^H^H^H^H writing
  • Humor is emotional chaos recollected in tranquility

 

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