Corporate Wisdom

Ξ February 28th, 2006 | → 0 Comments | ∇ Humour |

Stumbleupon Review

Corporate Wisdom
Book Seven

Thus spake the master programmer:

"You can demonstrate a program for a corporate
executive, but you can't make him computer literate."


    A novice asked the master: "In the east there is a great tree-structure
    that men call 'Corporate Headquarters'. It is bloated out of shape
    with vice-presidents and accountants. It issues a multitude of memos,
    each saying 'Go, Hence!' or 'Go, Hither!' and nobody knows what is
    meant. Every year new names are put onto the branches, but all to no
    avail. How can such an unnatural entity exist?"

    The master replies: "You perceive this immense structure and are
    disturbed that it has no rational purpose. Can you not take amusement
    from its endless gyrations? Do you not enjoy the untroubled ease of
    programming beneath its sheltering branches? Why are you bothered by
    its uselessness?"


    In the east there is a shark which is larger than all other fish. It
    changes into a bird whose winds are like clouds filling the sky. When
    this bird moves across the land, it brings a message from Corporate
    Headquarters. This message it drops into the midst of the program-
    mers, like a seagull making its mark upon the beach. Then the bird
    mounts on the wind and, with the blue sky at its back, returns home.

    The novice programmer stares in wonder at the bird, for he understands
    it not. The average programmer dreads the coming of the bird, for he
    fears its message. The master programmer continues to work at his
    terminal, for he does not know that the bird has come and gone.


    The Magician of the Ivory Tower brought his latest invention for the
    master programmer to examine. The magician wheeled a large black box
    into the master's office while the master waited in silence.

    "This is an integrated, distributed, general-purpose workstation,"
    began the magician, "ergonomically designed with a proprietary
    operating system, sixth generation languages, and multiple state of the
    art user interfaces. It took my assistants several hundred man years
    to construct. Is it not amazing?"

    The master raised his eyebrows slightly. "It is indeed amazing," he

    "Corporate Headquarters has commanded," continued the magician, "that
    everyone use this workstation as a platform for new programs. Do you
    agree to this?"

    "Certainly," replied the master, "I will have it transported to the
    data center immediately!" And the magician returned to his tower, well

    Several days later, a novice wandered into the office of the master
    programmer and said, "I cannot find the listing for my new program. Do
    you know where it might be?"

    "Yes," replied the master, "the listings are stacked on the platform in
    the data center."


    The master programmer moves from program to program without fear. No
    change in management can harm him. He will not be fired, even if the
    project is canceled. Why is this? He is filled with the Tao.


Leave a reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.


    Place for about text

    The Fog theme is built with PS, my glass paintings, custom brushes and patterns by milo IIIIVII.

    Open right sidebar.php in the theme folder to edit this message.
    Check my other themes too.