Philosophy Songs

Ξ September 5th, 2005 | → 0 Comments | ∇ Arts |


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Solipsism's Painless - mp3
(Sung to "Suicide is Painless" (the M*A*S*H theme))

Through the upturned glass I see
a modified reality--
which proves pure reason "kant" critique
that beer reveals das ding an sich--

Oh solipsism's painless,
it helps to calm the brain since
we must defer our drinking to go teach.

Oh virtue was the fleeting thing
Socrates was ever-seeking--
but interspersed with questioning
was his Symposium drinking--

'Cause solipsism's painless,
stick the brain in the vat since
we must defer our drinking to go teach.

The history of philosophy
is full of sots and lechery--
at APAs I think you'll see
a conduct that's exemplary!

For solipsism's painless,
flush Putnam down the drain since
we must defer our drinking to go teach--
It's beer and not conclusions
we must reach. . . .



I Can Think Clearly Now - mp3
(Sung to "I Can See Clearly Now")


I can think clearly now, all doubt is gone--
I can see truth as plainly as hands display--
posteriori or the prior kind--
I've got a right, right, right, episteme!

"Knows that P" sheerly now cannot be wrong--
all the bad Gettiers have disappeared--
turns out that Plato was right all along--
he had a right, right, right, episteme!

Postmodern minds are all the rage--
but they can't be consistent in meta-stage!

Taking the cogito as my first clue--
only Beelzebub stood in the way--
took him right out with a quick ontic proof--
now I got a right, right, right, episteme!


Make a Talk on the Ryle Side - mp3
(Sung to Lou Reed's "Take a Walk on the Wild Side")


In the Windy City for a day,
takin' in the Central APA,
a paper here and a paper there--
Cartesian stuff nearly everywhere--
I cried "Hey Dan, make a talk on the Ryle side"--
I said "Hey Pat, make a talk on the Ryle side"--

Kim can speak of causes that belie.
(Davidson's are lawless by the by.)
Type or token the mind is there,
yet Nagel's right 'cause it seems nowhere--
So "Hey Dan, make a talk on the Ryle side"--
And "Hey Pat, make a talk on th Ryle side"--
And the Canton Searles go "Do, de-do, do, de-do-de-do, do. . ."

When it hurts it seems that I can ache,
Starring in a role with no mistake.
But Dennett said that I'm written out
with just a lip (and no me) to pout--
So "Please Dan, make a talk on the Ryle side"--
And "Oh Pat, make a talk on the Ryle side"--
And the Canton Searles go "Do, de-do, do, de-do-de-do, do. . .""

 

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